A Growing Season
It’s impossible to know where to even start with what I have to share here so I guess the easiest thing to do would be to just come out and say it.
Last Friday was my last day with Nine10.
I know what you’re thinking:
“What?!?! You just left your established career in insurance to become a partner in a digital marketing agency! What happened?”
What happened is that I had to make some serious choices and very tough decisions.
I had the opportunity to work full time in the business for three months as a ‘cooling off’ period and during that time, my eyes were opened to exactly what the needs of a newly merged agency are. Ultimately & unfortunately, I just don’t have the room in my life to accommodate all of those needs. As much as I blasted full steam ahead into this new career, I realized very quickly that moving forward, I was setting myself up for failure.
I had two considerations to make as I was analyzing what level of failure I might be up against.
I was either going to a) fail my family or b) fail the business. If you love your family like I love mine, I think you can understand why I couldn’t let that happen. As I was about to seal the deal on the next five to seven years of my life, I realized that the pace would eventually crush me, the overwhelm would take over and my family would suffer incredibly in my pursuit of entrepreneurial excellence. This was a thought that I just couldn’t bear and together with Mike, we made the decision to take a complete 180.
The thing is that I already have a very full life.
Our daughter Maisie is a Type 1 Diabetic and so is Mike. If you know anyone with T1D, then you have a bit of an understanding of what a full time disease it is. There are no breaks and no days off. There is not a single minute that we can afford to not be considering what’s happening with Maisie’s blood sugars and what our next move will be. Everything she eats has to be accommodated for. Every level of activity has to be analyzed and planned for. Literally every minute is critical to her health. It’s 24/7, 365, constant care and I cannot jeopardize her needs or the needs of our family for the needs of a full time business.
So I made the hard choice and am choosing to walk away from what would have been an absolute dream come true and was such an amazing experience to begin with.
Do I have any regrets – No – but I will admit that the last 6 months have been an incredibly wild and turbulent time in my life. I have been learning & growing at a speed that has sometimes been unmanageable and because of that, I have made mistakes and had to do the hard work that comes with this type of growth. It’s been intense to say the least but having made this decision in the best interest of my family has given me hope that I am on the right track and will be able to come out stronger, smarter, braver and faster. The first half of 2022 was a season of life altering change but I am determined to make the second half a season of beautiful growth that moves at the most perfect speed for myself and my family.
I have so much running through my head and my heart right now.
With this in mind, I am going to turn my focus to healing over the summer and take the time to really settle into myself, who I want to be and what I want to do with my life. Although it’s definitely scary at times, I am finding more peace & acceptance every day for the decisions I’ve made and with that comes freedom & creativity that I’m looking forward to leaning into. While I can’t really say anything with certainty at the moment, one thing I do know for sure is that this will be a defining turning point in my life where I will truly rise to the best versions of myself. The second half of 2022 is MINE and I can’t wait to see what this time brings.
So there’s my news and where I’m at these days.
It’s been a wild ride for sure and I want to say a huge thank you to every one of my incredible family members & friends who have been along with me and helped me through. I have put so many relationships to the test lately and while I have unfortunately lost some that were important to me, I have also strengthened the foundation of others and gained wonderful new friends in the process. While it’s been heartbreaking at times, it has also been kind of magical & inspiring to gain this kind of clarity because life is far too short to surround ourselves with anyone less than the people who lift us up. To the people in my life who have walked through this chaos with me – I love you, you’re the best and thanks for checking in.
But especially Mike.
Babe, you are my heart and soul and I truly don’t know how I would be able to get through crazy times like these and learn some of these hard lessons without you. We have been through so much together but we always come through it stronger and I just couldn’t be more grateful for your love & commitment to our marriage. I know I have asked so much of you this year but I promise you, it’s about to be all worth it as we work towards making our dreams come true – together. I am diving head first into our family & our future and you know how well I can swim. I’ve got this. Thank you for having my back.
So what’s next?
Well I don’t really know at the moment. I have some pretty amazing ideas of very cool things I want to do but I will share those details a little further down the journey. Right now, my sole focus is to decompress, breathe, take care of my mind, heart & soul and just…… settle down.
I need some time to process.
I need some time to learn.
I just need some time for myself.
Thankfully – I can take that and my incredibly hard-working husband supports me 100%. I am not jumping into anything anytime soon so once I’ve gotten some rest and have spent the time I need to with myself & my family, I’ll get busy again.
But for now, I’ll be relaxing on the deck, soaking up every book I can get my hands on and leaning into every precious, still, wonderful moment with Mike & our amazing daughters along the way.